Star

by  Derek Walcott

If, in the light of things, you fade
real, yet wanly withdrawn
to our determined and appropriate
distance, like the moon left on
all night among the leaves, may
you invisibly delight this house;
O star, doubly compassionate, who came
too soon for twilight, too late
for dawn, may your pale flame
direct the worst in us
through chaos
with the passion of
plain day.

星

布尔科特   缪剑刚译

也许，作为发光的事物，你已消隐
真实萎弱地退回到我们之间
固有且感激的距离
像月亮整晚照耀枝叶
愿你也隐秘地，为这居所带来欢乐
哦，双重慈悲之星啊，相对黄昏出现太早
相对黎明又隐没太晚。愿你
苍白的火焰，指引我们的至暗
穿越混沌
以平淡时日的
激情

欣赏佳译，传神、动人

If, in the light of things, you fade
real, yet wanly withdrawn
to our determined and appropriate
distance, like the moon left on
all night among the leaves, may
you invisibly delight this house;

如果，在万物的光芒下，你变得暗淡
真实，却虚弱地退回
到我们之间这种坚决而又恰当
的距离，就像月亮
整晚逗留在树叶间，但愿
愿你也隐秘地，为这居所带来欢乐；



—— 试译了前五行，纯粹乐趣

with the passion of
plain day

——方式状语调到前面去翻译咋样？

荔荔 发表于 2025-8-22 10:15
If, in the light of things, you fade
real, yet wanly withdrawn
to our determined and appropriate

谢谢荔荔老师，译的真好