酒瓶
文｜忒绿

酒干了
心事满
盖回软木塞
抛大海
随波漂去
空无岛



Wine Bottles
by Tweeting Green

another, bit the dust
thoughts fully loaded
the corks, back
hove into the sea
floating away with the tides
to the Neverland

The final version:

Wine Bottles

another, bit the dust
thoughts fully loaded
the corks, imbedded back

hove into the sea
floating away with the tides
to the Neverland

忒绿诗歌 发表于 2023-6-21 08:07
The final version:

Wine Bottles

Wine Bottles

another, bit the dust
thoughts fully loaded
the corks, imbedded back
hove into the sea
floating away with the tides
to the Neverland

忒绿诗歌 发表于 2023-6-21 08:08
Wine Bottles

another, bit the dust

another, bit the dust

—— 请教忒绿，bit the dust，此语境中~，逻辑主语是酒瓶吧？（毕竟标题是酒瓶），这样理解就有意思了~


另，后面的都用单数是否更好？对一只酒瓶的诗意描述~

小诗意境悠长，读之如品酒~，赞赞~

青未 发表于 2023-6-21 10:00
another, bit the dust

—— 请教忒绿，bit the dust，此语境中~，逻辑主语是酒瓶吧？（毕竟标题是 ...

问好青未君:
下面是对您的问题的回答

Wine Bottles

another (bottle of wine), bit the dust.
又一瓶喝干了（干完了）
(wine bottles) thoughts fully loaded.
（还是没有麻醉自己让思绪减少，思绪跑到瓶子里）充满了酒瓶
the corks, imbedded back.
塞回塞子（把思绪封禁）
(wine bottles) hove into the sea
把瓶子抛进海里
floating away with the tides
随波漂走
to the Neverland.
去梦幻般的空无岛


*通篇使用过去分词修饰的名词短语。

翻译频道 发表于 2023-6-21 10:10
小诗意境悠长，读之如品酒~，赞赞~

谢谢频道

一位乌克兰诗人的读后留言：Brushstrokes of inspiration pirouette across the canvas of your verses, forging a masterpiece that elicits emotions and kindles introspection

忒绿诗歌 发表于 2023-6-21 11:15
问好青未君:
下面是对您的问题的回答

懂了~
我平时只喝一点点红酒，故没有联想到一个人会喝很多瓶红酒，然后把空空如也的它们全部扔进海里，那这个人笃定不止一种相思两处闲愁了~

忒绿诗歌 发表于 2023-6-21 11:16
谢谢频道

忘记切换账号，抱拳~