越来越接近荒草的父亲
文/寒冰
译/李一凡

曾经像将军一般
训斥过狂草覆盖的戈壁
鞭打过桀骜不驯的沙漠
堵截过狂野暴躁的洪流

几十年后
戈壁滩甘愿归顺
沙漠已言听计从
洪流也变得温柔

躬下身子的父亲
却越来越接近戈壁上的枯草
被风吹得歪歪斜斜
一张脸也荒芜得沟壑纵横
芦花开满头顶

一阵接一阵的咳嗽
让秋风摇晃

Father in the Gobi desert

By Hanbing
Tr. Yifan Li

Rebuked the Gobi desert that was covered with the brush,
Whipped the obstinate desert，Cut off the irritable flood，
You acted in the general quality.

Decades later,
The Gobi desert surrenders,
the desert turns to be obedient,
The flood is made meek.

Father who bows down,
starts looking like the brush in the desert.
His body is shaken up by the wind, that he nearly fall down.
His face has been carved deeply by time, like the gullies set on the tough mountain.
The constant coughs make the autumn wind anxious.

问好新诗友！

译者的语法蛮赞的！由于先读的译文，general quality猛一看没理解是指‘将军’。
有一个小小的地方可以探讨：brush这个词似乎更适合森林、密林里的树丛，描述绿绿的一撮植物。戈壁荒漠里的那种棕色植物我也不知道叫什么好。


再次赏读和欢迎新诗友、译友