归来     /林木译

你离开时起初
我感到害怕；然后
一个男孩在街上触摸我，
他的眼睛与我的齐平，
清澈而悲伤：我
叫他进来；我用
我们的语言和他说话，
但他的手是你的，
如此轻柔地提出致命的索取——
然后，没有区别
不论我叫你们中的哪一个
伤口是那么深。


The Return
Louise Glück


At first when you went away
I was frightened; then
a boy touched me on the street,
his eyes were level with mine,
clear and grieving: I
called him in; I spoke to him
in our language,
but his hands were yours,
so gently making their murderous claim—
And then it didn’t matter
which one of you I called,
the wound was that deep.

情诗哇~，写得隐秘又独特，林木的翻译也是好得不行：“清澈而悲伤”“轻柔提出致命的索取”，赞赞

a boy touched me on the street
一个男孩在街上触摸我

—— 触摸，是怎么个，，，，

荔荔 发表于 2025-5-5 10:17
情诗哇~，写得隐秘又独特，林木的翻译也是好得不行：“清澈而悲伤”“轻柔提出致命的索取”，赞赞

但是，但是，the wound was that deep

荔荔 发表于 2025-5-5 10:18
a boy touched me on the street
一个男孩在街上触摸我

是用碰触还是抚摸？折中：触摸。。。