《三首夏日黎明的歌》   林木译


1.
田野里第一道长影
像人间困境。
第一声鸟鸣则截然不同。


2.
夏季光线很年轻，而且完全不受监管。
没人强迫它坐下吃早餐。
它最先醒来，最先出门。


3.
因他已睁开眼睛，他必是光
而她，睡在他身边，必定可见，
一缕头发卷在她耳旁。
他朝她耳语，“醒醒！”
“醒醒！”他轻声低语。


THREE DAWN SONGS IN SUMMER  by ROBERT HASS


1.
The first long shadows in the fields
Are like mortal difficulty.
The first birdsong is not like that at all.

2.
The light in summer is very young and wholly unsupervised.
No one has made it sit down to breakfast.
It’s the first one up, the first one out.

3.
Because he has opened his eyes, he must be light
And she, sleeping beside him, must be the visible,
One ringlet of hair curled about her ear.
Into which he whispers, “Wake up!”
“Wake up!” he whispers.

请教主编，改成黎明之歌会不会更好？

林木 发表于 2023-10-11 12:13
请教主编，改成黎明之歌会不会更好？

三首黎明之歌，果然更悦耳，这就来细细欣赏~

清透、简洁，气息迷人~
为木木木点赞~~~

The first long shadows in the fields
Are like mortal difficulty.

—— 第一道长影，单复数上有细微出入，怎么办呢？木？

青未 发表于 2023-10-11 16:31
三首黎明之歌，果然更悦耳，这就来细细欣赏~

荔荔耳朵好使~

青未 发表于 2023-10-11 16:36
清透、简洁，气息迷人~
为木木木点赞~~~

是，说的是原诗~

青未 发表于 2023-10-11 16:40
The first long shadows in the fields
Are like mortal difficulty.

读的仔细。用第一缕有同样问题。最初的？

林木 发表于 2023-10-11 20:34
是，说的是原诗~

both versions~

林木 发表于 2023-10-11 20:35
读的仔细。用第一缕有同样问题。最初的？

田野里最初的长影，好啊，避开了数的尴尬，how smart you are~