夏天
文｜忒绿

蝉鸣
装进瓶子
放入大海
漂流
到时间的彼岸
打开
听
这个
夏天

Summer
By Tweeting Green

A grand chorus
of cicadas
into the bottle
rafting
on the sea
till another end of time
Open it
to listen to
this summer

修改稿

Tweeting Cicadas
By Tweeting Green

A grand chorus
of cicadas
into the bottle
rafting
on the sea
till another end of time
Open it
to listen to
this summer


蝉鸣
文｜忒绿

蝉鸣
装进瓶子
大海上
漂流
待到时间的另一端
打开
听
这个
夏天

有穿越的味道哦，忒绿～

译得真好，尤其首行，激赏，赞～

谢青未君:

忒绿诗歌 发表于 2023-7-12 22:53
谢青未君:

帮我看看最近的几首印度洋赛季的翻译，蓝色字部分有点纠结~


西九华山妙高禅寺

李庆华


受过戒的山溪哗哗流向人间。风吹过
诵经的竹林左一声：阿弥，右一声：托佛

树荫是袈裟，野花是梵香。它们都在寺外
有人问我妙高禅寺寺有多大，我指着西九华山的苍茫
这一片，全是


Miaogao Temple in West Mount Jiuhua

Li Qinghua


The ordained mountain stream flew down to the world. What came with the wind
Was the bamboo forest's chanting: Ami- to the left and -tabha to the right

The shades made cassocks, and wildflowers burning incenses. They were all outside the temple
I was asked how big the temple was. Pointing to the vastness of West Mount Jiuhua, I answered
It extended as far as there

忒绿诗歌 发表于 2023-7-12 22:53
谢青未君:

还有中文里的“尘世”，the world?  the human world?  the mortal world?  给别人翻译诗集时，总是遇到“尘世”，我用的the mortal world ~,如何呀？

尘世/尘寰/红尘，可以用the (this) world, the mortal world, the mortal life

这首中文诗意境不错。青未君的英译已经很好了。

青未 发表于 2023-7-13 10:53
帮我看看最近的几首印度洋赛季的翻译，蓝色字部分有点纠结~

我翻译了一下，仅供参考，兼回答最后一句的翻译

Miaogao Zen Temple in West Jiuhua Mountain

Ordained streams brawl over the world. The wind blows
Bamboos chant, “Ami” on the left and “Tabha” on the right

Tree shades look like cassocks, and wild flowers like incense sticks, without the temple
Someone wondered about its size. I pointed to the immensity of the mountain
All, over the lot